Kris and Rachel walked out from his friend’s clothes shop with multiple bags filled to the brim with new outfits.
“How’d you even know I like this sort of stuff?” Rachel asked Kris, wanting to hold his hand as they walked, but she couldn’t due to them both having full hands. So, she simply walked as close to his side as possible instead.
“Uhh, I remember you showed me pictures of you when you were younger,” Kris answered. “You had a different outfit on in every single picture, and they were always really fancy and complex outfits. You looked like you put a lot of effort into how you dressed.”
“I—I completely forgot you saw pics from when I was younger…”
“You were really cute. Oh, but like, in an innocent way. Wait, that might make me sound creepy. When I say innocent, I mean I thought you were cute in an innocent… I mean… my intent is innocent. I’m not like, saying you looked innocent. Not that you didn’t look innocent, I just don’t want you to think I’m a creep thinking you were like, cute and innocent when you were younger. Uh… does that make any sense?”
Rachel couldn’t help but to laugh when she heard Kris trying his best not to sound creepy. “Don’t worry, I know what you mean. But geez… you didn’t think I was innocent when I was younger…”
“That’s not what I mean! Like, you did look innocent! But not in a creepy way! Isn’t it creepy when guys call teen girls innocent? I don’t want to be like that!”
“Aww… you won’t be creepy for me…”
“Wait, am I supposed to be creepy? Do you want me to be creepy?”
“I’m teasing you, Kris.”
“Oh. Good. Because I don’t think I can be creepy even if you want me to be. Even girls who are eighteen feel weird and illegal to me, and I’m not even out of my twenties. I don’t get how there are some guys out there in like, their forties who can date girls who are only eighteen or nineteen…”
“I… have to admit that I’ve read a few romance novels with age gaps like that… but it’s okay since it’s fictional! I like only being a couple years younger than you! It means we’re more equal and get to go through all of life’s steps at the same time as each other and stuff.”
“Yeah. I’ll get to go through my midlife crisis while you go through menopause.”
“It sounded cute until you said that.”
“Oh, sorry. Uh… we’ll get to lose our hair together?”
“Kris, I love you… but maybe let’s switch topics.”
“Okay. Oh, I know. You like clothes and fashion, but you only wear your maid uniform. Why don’t you wear other things?”
Rachel wore a smug smile when she heard that. “Because maid uniforms are the peak of fashion!”
“Oh. Are they?”
Rachel nodded twice. “Of course! There is nothing cuter, more fashionable, nor classier than a maid uniform!”
“I don’t really know much about fashion, so I’ll take your word for it.”
“Our lady taught us about it. Ah… I still remember the first time she taught us about the beauty and purity of maid uniforms. I will never forget the burning passion in her voice. She also taught us that it’s even more fashionable to combine wearing chains around our necks, wrists, or ankles while wearing maid uniforms, but those are uncomfortable so none of us do it. Just a maid uniform is enough.”
“Chains? What are those for?”
“She said so that maids can be more easily tugged around and forced into different positions and stuff, but I don’t really get the point of that. That just makes it harder for us to do our jobs. There was also something about being chained down and left to a horde of monsters, but like… what? What’s that have to do with anything? Are we supposed to clean for them? How could we do that if we’re chained down? Our lady is super smart, but sometimes her brain is weird and says things that don’t make any sense.”
“Yeah, I never really understood her before. But I think she knows me better enough now to know to be simple, because she’s always really uhh… matter-of-fact when talking to me now. She’s like a completely different person when she talks to me than when she talks to my bro.”
“I know what you mean. I’m glad she’s found a boyfriend and girlfriends who understand her since most of us have always struggled with some of the things she talks about. I remember the last time I tried to search something she was telling us about, I tried to look it up, and it told me I had to disable the safe search results… and that… that kind of scared me, you know? I’ve never disabled safe search results on the internet before. I have no idea what I might see on the other side if I do. What if it’s something scary? Or what if it’s dangerous and downloads viruses onto my phone?”
“I get it. I always leave it on too. It’s better to be safe than sorry, especially with the internet.”
“Yep! No such thing as being too safe! Actually… that reminds me.”
Kris tilted his head a bit. “Yeah?”
Rachel looked up at Kris and said, “Our lady tried telling us about how important it is for us to be ‘safe’ when sleeping with you? She told us to be safe and use protection, but then when we asked her to explain what she meant, she sighed dropped the topic. We haven’t been able to figure out what she meant, either. Like… does she want us to make sure we have enough blankets? Or maybe she was worried about somebody rolling off the bed, so place pillows around it to break any potential fall? Or maybe she was worried about our hands getting cold at night, so we should wear gloves?”
“Huh… what if she meant like… wear helmets?”
“Ooohhhh! That’s a good one! She might have meant that!”
“Wait. But what if you headbutt somebody in your sleep?”
“They’d also have a helmet, so it’d be okay, I think?”
“Oh, right. But it might be uncomfortable to sleep in helmets.”
“Oh… true…”
Kris and Rachel continued walking down the street together, totally unaware of what Alice could have possibly meant when she told the maids to use protection when sleeping with Kris.
Meanwhile, in the world of FTO, Fenrir’s ears perked up when he noticed a concerning expression on Nell’s face. They were in Nameless’s town hall looking over more proposals from the inhabitants of the city together when Nell’s expression suddenly turned sour.
“Something wrong?” Fenrir asked. “Is it another bad proposal?”
Nell sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I suddenly got a headache.”
“Again? Those have been happening pretty frequently. If it’s happening in-game, too, then maybe we should get you to the doctor.”
“My VA told me that there isn’t anything wrong with my brain.”
“Our assistants don’t have access to all the same analysis tools as doctors.”
“It is… probably fine. I believe I may know what the issue is in the first place.”
Fenrir got up from where he was sitting to go and rub Nell’s shoulders from behind. “And what would that be?”
“The relationship.”
Fenrir froze when he heard that. “Is—is there something wrong? Did I—”
Nell, jumping in her seat when she realized how that could have been interpreted, turned in her chair and yanked Fenrir down against her for a hug that pushed his head against her chest. “Not our relationship.” She stroked her hand against the back of his head while nuzzling her cheek up against the top of it between his ears. “I assure you, my hero, you are nothing but exceedingly wonderful in every way imaginable at all times, and there is not a single day that passes where I am anything short of blissful.”
“I think my heart stopped for a moment there when you said it’s the relationship.”
“I am sorry, my hero. Trust me, if I ever have an issue with our relationship, then I will be sure to address it with you honestly and without such a vague introduction. The relationship I am worried about is… with your bro and my adorable, wonderful, innocent maids.”
“You know, to me, Rao is the adorable, wonderful, innocent one.”
“But he is not a maid.”
“He’d probably wear a maid costume if I asked him to.”
“Hmm… you with another man who you have ordered to wear a maid uniform… is not an unappealing thought. However, I am worried about them. I am doing my absolute best not to harass them with text messages requesting updates every other hour. What if they are not getting along? What if his home is too dirty for them? What if he is revealing a dark side and abusing them? What if he is boring them? What if he has drugged them and harvested their organs?!”
“Is this a colony management game or real life we’re talking about?”
“The latter, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Hmph… you do not appear to share my concerns.”
“I’m sorry, but Rao is like a harmless puppy who is absolutely obsessed with them and will do everything in his power to make sure they have a nice time.”
Nell sighed and continued stroking the back of Fenrir’s head. “I do have faith in him, but my worry for my maids is greater than my faith in him.”
Fenrir sniffed. “I understand. I’m the same way but with the parties revers—”
“Did you sniff me?”
Fenrir thought about what to say for a moment. “M-maybe?”
Nell pulled the side of her face away from the top of his head to get a better look at how she was holding him. She had him bent over in such a position that his nose was right against her cleavage. Naturally, once she realized what he did and her mind got to work, she blushed and grinned. “Ah… for my beast of a hero to be inhaling my scent even on a hot day like this where I have been embarrassingly sweating… how absolutely degrading…”
“If it makes you feel any better, you smell sweet.”
“It is more humiliating if I smell bad.”
“Ah, my bad. Alright, you smell disgusting. You need to go take a shower. Stinky.”
Nell’s entire body trembled from the verbal “abuse.” “I am feeling much better now,” she cooed. “Are the doors locked?”
“They can be.”
“Then they should be. As exciting as it would be for somebody to walk in on us while you have me pinned against the table ravaging my body and indulging in my repulsive stench, I am sure you would prefer to have privacy while—”
The doors suddenly swung open as if some higher power personally came to cockblock Nell.
Instead, standing there with her arms extending out past her sides in a dramatic fashion…
Was Serra.
“Finally,” Serra said. “I’ve been waiting for it to get good.” Serra stepped into the room, waited for the doors to close behind her, and then locked them. “It smells stinky in here.”
When Nell shivered again from the insult, Serra looked at Fenrir and gave him one of her signature thumbs-ups.
“I just got a weird thought,” Kris said as he and Rachel sat across from each other drinking fancy, overpriced coffee drinks.
Rachel, of course, couldn’t help but to play footsies with him underneath the table the entire time despite not even realizing that she was doing it. “What’s the thought?”
“Would I look good in a maid uniform?”
“In… a maid uniform?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm… you’d probably look good in anything. Oh! We should go clothes shopping for you! And we can try out all sorts of different outfits! And I know what kind of styles the others like, too. Well, not Lucy, but I can help you pick out outfits perfectly tailored to the others’ tastes so that they all get to enjoy you in their exact styles!”
“Ooh. That sounds good. Do any of them like maid uniforms?”
“I—I can’t say any of them would like to see you wear one… but if you really want to, you could probably fit in one of Abigail’s spares?”
“I’ll have to try it and send a picture to my bro.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but… why?”
“It’d be funny.”
“I don’t understand how your brain works sometimes, but that just makes you even more fun to be around.”
“It’s okay. I don’t understand it either most of the time.”