After getting ready to head to the restaurant, Kris got to listen to Iris talk more than he ever heard her talk about. She explained the chef’s entire history to him, how every single night she ever cooked for was a completely different theme, how she never cooked the same thing twice, about all the awards she’s won—it was non-stop fangirling to a degree that Kris never saw before.
And as far as Kris was concerned, that made Iris even cuter.
He was actually pretty sure that he learned more about this Sophie Leblanc lady than he knew about Iris just from how much she talked about her.
“I—I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Iris said, sitting next to Kris in the back of the autocar they were taking to the restaurant. Her hand held onto his the whole time, and she was literally shaking with excitement the entire trip.
“Is there a reason you’re so obsessed with her?” Kris asked. “I mean, I know you’re said all this stuff about her, but like… there are all sorts of people who have done amazing things who you don’t get like this for, so why her? What personally makes you so interested in her?”
Iris thought about it for a few moments before saying, “Her determination.”
“Yeah?”
“The first time I heard about her was when I was a little kid. I remember she was a teenager at the time, a few years older than me, and people were talking about her on the news. The whole celebrity chef thing fell out of fashion over the years since they were seen as an elitist thing, remember? Back when people started looking up to scientists and teachers and good leaders instead of celebrities and drama. Celebrity chefs died out because ‘all they do is make food for the rich.’ And ‘the money they spend on their extravagant cooking could be spent feeding thousands of the starving’ and stuff like that. But she… she didn’t care. Maybe it means she was a bit of a jerk to people, but she didn’t care about helping anybody or being shamed into changing who she was. She wanted to prove herself as a world-class chef no matter what. She never let anybody tell her what she couldn’t do. When she made it into the news for being wasteful, she published pictures of her sitting in a bathtub completely filled with raw eggs. When she was criticized for being so expensive that only the rich could afford her food, she set her entry fee to free for a fight… but whoever wanted to eat her food had to strip naked and wear a collar for dogs.”
“She sounds… like kind of a bad person.”
“I don’t think she is. She’s stubborn and determined, but she’s willing to do anything for her passion and to stick it to the people who complain about her. When they didn’t target her with slander, she didn’t do anything controversial. But anytime somebody tried to criticize her for anything, she’d play it up a hundred times over out of spite for them. But what really made me look up to her was when she was doing a live interview where the host questioned her about experimenting with lab-grown human meat. As soon as the host tried to pin it on her and make her look like she was a bad person for it and calling her a cannibal, she took a knife out from her pocket, chopped her pinky off while live on the air, swallowed it whole, and asked him, ‘And what if I am?’ The host ended up throwing up before they could cancel the broadcast and it was so disgusting… but also amazing. She’s a woman who only cares about her own interests and is perfectly happy to act normal as long as nobody criticizes her.”
“She still sounds like a bad person, but also insane now.”
“Well, maybe, but she’s never hurt anybody other than herself. She also used most of the initial investments into her brand to open a farm where everything there from the vegetables to the animals are produced and slaughtered as ethically as possible. The animals her farm raises for her restaurants are probably treated better than most people are, even those belonging to the upper class. And when it came to the egg stunt with the bathtub, she revealed a few years later that all those eggs were going to be destroyed anyways due to being part of a recall. It was either make a statement with them while risking exposure to a dangerous virus in the eggs, or destroy them.”
Kris thought about it for a moment. “I guess when you put it that way, she sounds less bad. But what about the finger thing? Did she really do that, or is it not as bad as it sounds?”
“Oh, no, she really did that. She’s still missing her left pinky. Then this one rich guy tried asking her if he could eat her other pinky, and she told him only if she would let him cut his off, too. He chickened out.”
Kris really wasn’t sure what to think after hearing all of that. On one hand, she was an independent, stubborn woman who revived celebritity chefdom. On the other hand, she sounded incredibly controversial and borderline insane.
Coming up with a nuanced opinion of her was going to take too much brainpower to do, which would distract him from his date with Iris, so he just chose to not think about his opinion of the chef anymore.
“I—I think we’re here,” Iris said, sounding more nervous than excited all of a sudden.
And when Kris leaned down a bit to look out through the front window where Iris was looking, he figured out why.
The restaurant was draped in black and red lights with half-naked men and women shambling around in front of it with makeup that made them look like walking corpses.
“Uhh, I think a zombie apocalypse might have started,” Kris said before making sure that the autocar’s doors were locked.
“I—I think it’s just the theme for the night,” Iris explained. “I don’t think the zombies would be letting people take pictures of them if they were real.”
“What if they’re zombies who still have some of their instincts left for social media? Like, a zombie who still wants to post pictures online instead of eat brains?”
“I don’t know if that would be more or less terrifying than a normal zombie…”
The autocar pulled up to the curb in front of the restaurant and automatically unlocked the doors.
Kris locked them again when he saw a zombie walk by.
“Kris… they’re not real,” Iris said.
“What if they want us to think that?” Kris asked. “What if zombie movies always made zombies look dumb so that it would trick humans into thinking they’re stupid when they’re actually smart?”
“Are—are you afraid of zombies?”
“I don’t think so. I’m more worried about you. When I see zombies walking around, it makes me want to protect you and make sure you’re safe.”
Iris let out a gentle sigh before leaning forward and kissing his cheek. “Thanks, Kris. But I promise I’ll be safe from the fake zombies.”
Kris blushed a bit when he felt the kiss, and her words were enough to convince him to unlock the door and open it up.
And as soon as the zombies saw Kris step out of the car… they stopped what they were doing, lined up in two columns in front of him, and bowed, creating a line from the car to the restaurant’s entrance.
“Woah, the zombies are really respectful,” Kris said.
“I wonder if they do this for every guest?” Iris asked.
The nearest zombie, a young man, spoke up and said, “No, ma’am. We were instructed to break character and treat the esteemed gentleman with the highest respect.”
“But… breaking the act for somebody is unlike her…”
“Chef Leblanc has made an exception for him.”
Iris tugged on the back of Kris’s sleeve and asked, “Are you sure you don’t know her?”
Kris shrugged. “No idea. Don’t think I do.”
While Iris was confused by the sudden shift in mood, Kris continued being Kris and led her to the front door, making sure to hold it open for her.
A zombie employee who was ready to jump out at whoever opened the door nearly tripped and coughed when she saw that it was Kris.
Somehow, the lack of performance from the zombies made the entire horror theme even more unsettling than it was before. The gory decorations strewn across the interior were nothing compared to the polite treatment from the staff.
“Welcome, our esteemed guests,” the girl zombie said after clearing her throat. “Please, Chef Leblanc has prepared a special table for you.”
And just like that, they were led past the other patrons waiting for a table across the dining area to a door on the far side of it. The room the door led to was just… a normal, fancy dining room. It was only large enough to comfortably fit one round table with enough seats for ten, and it had a crystal chandelier dangling above it.
“Your menus,” the girl said, placing multiple menus on the table for different courses and drinks. “I will return shortly with water and wine.”
And just like that, Kris and Iris were left alone.
“This… is weird,” Iris said. “I’ve never heard of her giving anybody special treatment like this. If anything, she usually treats everybody the same no matter how important they are. Not to mention that she never gives people a choice with what they get to eat. There is the daily menu and that’s it. You either eat it or you don’t eat. But… they gave us menus… and these menus are huge.”
“Dang,” Kris said. “I hate when a restaurant gives me too many choices. I can never pick so I always end up asking for macaroni and cheese. Or steak.”
Iris, now in her seat next to Kris, couldn’t help but to look over the menu with a conflicted expression on her face.
“Something wrong?” Kris asked.
“Well, this… isn’t what I expected,” Iris replied. “But maybe it’s part of the experience and they’ll trick us. Maybe she’s trying to get us to lower our guard?”
“Maybe. I don’t really know how this fancy dining stuff works.”
“In that case, I think I’ll ask for something simple since it probably doesn’t really matter. Or ask for something that you would never expect in a restaurant like this, like… a burger and fries.”
Iris, convinced that she was onto something, waited for the waitress to return so that they could place their order.
No more than fifteen minutes later and the waitress returned with a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy, and a plate featuring a hamburger surrounded by fries.
“Enjoy your meal! Please, if you need anything, all you need to do is press the buttons on the underside of the table.” And just like that, the waitress was gone.
“W-well, it looks normal,” Iris said. “But… maybe it’s not?”
She picked up her burger.
She brought it to her mouth.
She took a bite out of it.
In her mouth was the most delicious, incredible, perfect-beyond-reason burger that Iris had ever tasted in her entire life. It was the burger to end all burgers. It was not physically possible for a burger to taste better than it did.
And yet.
It was just a burger.
The perfect burger, but still a normal burger.
She looked over at Kris’s macaroni and cheese.
“Woah, this is amazing,” Kris said. “This is the best mac and cheese I’ve had in my life.”
Yet.
It just looked like normal macaroni and cheese.
Kris held up a fork of macaroni and held it toward Iris. “You want so—wait, what’s wrong?”
“I… it’s fine. I think I might have just hyped myself up too much and came in here expecting something different,” Iris answered. “This just… isn’t anything like I expected. The food is really good, and I’m happy you brought me here, but… well, they say to never meet your idols.”
Kris put his fork down.
Then he reached under the table, felt around for the mentioned button, and pressed it.
“Kris?” Iris asked. “What are you—”
The door swung open in an instant. “Could I help you with anything?” the waitress asked.
“Can we start over?” Kris asked the waitress. “And we want to be treated like normal customers. We want to eat out there with all the zombies and gore. And no menus.”
The waitress took a step back and looked like she had no idea how to respond to that. “A-ah… you see, well… gi-give me a moment, please.”
The waitress fled from the room.
Iris blinked a couple of times before chuckling. “You—you didn’t have to do that,” she said. “But… you making demands in one of Sophie’s restaurants is something I’ll never forget. You’re probably the only person who has tried that in years.”
Kris shrugged. “This isn’t what you want, and I want you to have what you want.”
“Hey, Kris.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re the best. Thanks. I already feel better, so if you want, we could just… finish our food then go somewhere else.”
“You were looking forward to this, so I want to make sure you get the experience you’ve always wanted.”
“It’s not really a big deal. I just hyped myself up too—”
The door opened once more.
This time, however, it was not the waitress who stepped into the room.
It was a woman who Iris immediately recognized.
“I—I’m actually seeing Sophie Leblanc in person,” Iris mumbled to herself.
The woman, who was tall with short, black hair and wearing a dress that made her look like she was on a mission to seduce, didn’t pay any mind to Iris and just focused on Kris.
“I knew you would come here eventually, Kris,” the woman, Sophie, said. “You will be mine before this night is—”
Kris raised his hand to interrupt her and said, “The food is good, but we want zombies and gore and no choices.”
“But… I, Sophie Leblanc, the renown chef who never provides special service to anybody, am giving you special service. Are you—are you not proud? Are you not overjoyed to be treated better than I have ever treated any other—”
“It’s rude to act like we’re alone in here when my girlfriend is sitting there. I know you’re kind of crazy, but she’s like, your biggest fan. If you’re not nice to her then we’re leaving.”
Sophie stared straight into Kris’s eyes, not a single word leaving her lips, before looking at the bottle of wine sitting on the table.
Then, in a very Lucy style, she grabbed the bottle and began chugging.