“Yo, we’re back,” Kris said as he walked into his apartment.
Normally, Iris would have tried to jump at the door to open it for him before he could do it himself, but she was still too lovestruck to let go of his arm that she was hugging against her while resting her head against his shoulder. Though, as soon as she noticed the other women there, she let go of his arm and straightened up much to her dismay.
Rachel grinned a smug grin when she saw that. “I’ve never seen you be so lovey-dovey, Iris.”
With a hint of blush, Iris looked away and pushed some of her black hair behind her ear. “I…” Then, rather than try to excuse it or hide it, she wrapped her arms back around Kris’s. “You… can expect to see it more often, then.”
Rachel looked up at Kris and flashed him a thumbs-up.
Kris wasn’t really sure why he was getting a thumbs-up, but he gave her one back anyways. Then, looking over the rest of his girlfriends, he realized it was probably too late to do anything else one-on-one with them. “I guess we should settle in for the night. I don’t think there’s anything else to really do this late for like, a date, unless you like clubs or bars.”
Anastasia, who was back in the living area after some private time with Lucy and his boxers, raised her hand and asked, “This building has a little ‘park’ on the roof, yes?”
Kris looked impressed that she knew. “Woah, yeah. How’d you know that?”
“We discovered it during our research of the building you live in. Anyways, if you would not mind, I would love to sit under the night sky with you. That way, you still have tomorrow’s daylight hours to spend with taking somebody else out.”
“If that’s what you really want, then sure.”
While Anastasia smiled, Rachel got up to grab Iris and pull her away from Kris. “While they’re gone, you can tell us all about your date! I want to hear everything.”
Iris pouted a little, but she knew her time for hoarding Kris ran out for now, so she gave in and let Rachel pull her away while Anastasia walked up to him.
“Shall we go now? Or do you desire a break first? It has already been a busy day for you as well, so it is alright if you wish to rest for the night,” Anastasia said.
“I’m all good,” Kris replied. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
“Then let us depart for the roof.”
A short trip later and both Kris and Anastasia were up on his building’s roof. Just as the women discovered, there was a small park of sorts there with a few different playsets for children, but also a large patch of grass with an artificial tree and a tiny garden of flowers.
More importantly, Anastasia was sitting on the grassy patch, and she had Kris lie down next to her using her thighs as a pillow as she stroked her fingers through his hair.
“Are you sure this is really all you want to do?” Kris asked. “I feel like you’re just spoiling me.”
“Yes. That is what I desire,” Anastasia said, a gentle smile curling her lips as she stroked her hands through his hair. “Are you surprised that my request is so simple?”
“I don’t know if I’d say I’m surprised, I just thought you’d like to go out and do something different than usual together. It feels like you’re always spoiling me.”
“And I would love to spoil you every day for the rest of my life.”
“If it makes you happy, I’m down for that.”
“And you? Does it make you happy as well?”
“Obviously. I’m the happiest guy in the world whenever I’m with any of you, even if we’re just doing the same thing we always do.”
“I am glad to hear that. Though, I must ask you something that is perhaps… a bit strange.”
“Yeah?”
“The others have little interest in discussing these matters as they do not hold their attention very well, but I would love to be able to discuss them with you. Though, it is most alright if you are not interested either. There will be no judgement from me.”
“I’m curious, so go for it.”
“Very well. How do you feel about philosophy?”
“Uhh, it’s interesting stuff, but I guess I don’t really know much about it and don’t think about it too hard. I just believe in trying to be a good person.”
Anastasia slowly traced her fingers from the top of Kris’s forehead down along his scalp to the back of his head as he talked, causing him to shiver in a way that made her smile even more. “Is that so? How do you define being a good person?”
“Uh… I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about that. I guess it’s just… doing what you believe is right?”
“But how do you determine what is right?”
“By what other people think is right and how I was raised, I guess?”
“What of your personal beliefs? Are there any beliefs you hold in opposition to those you know? Anything that you may believe is right that others think is wrong, or vise-versa?”
“There’s not really anything I can think of. I know I’ve done things before that were wrong, but I didn’t know it was wrong. Once I knew those things were wrong, I stopped.”
Anastasia hummed a little whenever she was listening to Kris talk. “I see. Do you strive to be a good person because you believe it is the right thing to do, or because you personally want to be a good person?”
Kris had to think about it for a few moments, and the relaxing sensation of Anastasia’s fingers going over his scalp over and over again made it a bit difficult to properly concentrate on a topic that was deeper than he was used to. “Uh. I guess… I want to be a good person because I know it’s the right thing to do?”
“If being a good person by most people’s eyes meant acting in contradiction to how you have been, what would you do? Say, littering. We believe littering is bad. But, if people believed littering was good, would you litter due to a desire to be seen as a good person still?”
“But how could littering be good?”
“It is a hypothetical, my dearest Kris.”
“Oh. Well. Uh. I guess maybe people would think I’m a bad person because I still wouldn’t do it even if others thought it was good.”
“Is that so? Why not?”
“Well, there are some things that are like… common sense, you know? Like, killing people is bad. Abusing animals is bad. Littering is bad. That’s just common sense. Those things are never right no matter how many people think they are. Even if everybody alive thought they were good, those would still be bad.”
“Then do you believe that an objective morality exists beyond what humanity believes? That there is an undeniable wrong and right—a good and evil, that stands above what the average person believes?”
“I don’t know about that since that’s kind of going into like, religious territory, right? But I mean… I guess some things are like that. And if they’re not, they should be.”
“I take it you are not religious?”
Kris chuckled a bit when he heard that. “Nah. Never have been. I went to this church once with a friend when I was a teen and I felt like I was listening to a bunch of like, crazy people in a cult talk.”
“Oh my. How harsh.”
“I mean, they can be religious if they want as long as they’re not hurting anybody I guess, but like… I don’t get that stuff.”
Anastasia giggled some more at his response. “To be fair, I doubt most of our generation would ‘get that stuff.’”
“I just realized I never really asked any of you this, but like, are you religious at all?”
“Well, I would say that I am… spiritual. I believe in no organized religion, nor do I believe in paganism. Even so, I do feel that there is… something else. What that something may be, I have no way of saying. Perhaps it is just a cell in my brain that has been wired improperly thinking of something nonsensical. Or maybe there is something else out there—something greater. I cannot, and I will not, say for certain.”
“Huh. I’m not sure I’ve heard of anybody like that before.” Kris tilted his head a bit against her lap. “What do you mean by being spiritual? Is there anything to it other than like, just feeling like something else is there?”
“A bit? I strive to live in a way that I believe results in the greatest happiness. The happiness of others. The happiness of myself. The happiness of those who I cherish. There is nothing that I want more than for all of us to feel happy as often as possible and as strongly as possible. If I believed that changing the topic would make you happier for even a moment, I would gladly do so. If I believed that acting in a different way to the point of changing my entire personality would please you and the others, then again, I would do so and enjoy it. My own sense of self matters little to me. What makes me happy is making others happy.”
“Woah. I never heard of anything like that before. Isn’t that kind of like… sad? I mean, you should care about your sense of self, right? Isn’t that who you are?”
“I understand your concern, so please allow me to rephrase my statement. My sense of self, in its truest form, is the desire to be happy. The core of my personhood is nothing but the desire for joy. Nothing else on top of that truly matters. They are all nothing more than accessories that help me achieve my goal of joy. My personality, my appearance, my interests, the way I speak, those who I associate with—all of these things can be swapped around to maximize the amount of joy I feel, and to maximize the amount of joy others feel. Should you tell me that you desire me to act as a completely different woman one day, and then like another woman the next day, I would.”
“Huh… I guess that kind of makes sense. I’m still not really familiar with that sort of thing, but I’m not gonna judge you for it. As long as you’re happy, I guess that’s what matters.”
“Of course, I suppose there are… some aspects of my personality that remain regardless of how I behave, but those aspects remain as a means of bringing my more carnal desires joy. It is all ultimately about happiness in the end.”
“Your carnal desires?” Kris blinked a couple times. “That sounds familiar, but I forget what it means.”
“I suppose another consistent part of me is my love for teasing.” Anastasia gave him another smile before changing the subject. “Let me ask you this. Do you believe that my love is legitimate?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“My love is a selfish love. It exists to make me happy. Loving others makes them happy, and that makes me happy. I love to love not for the sake of love itself, but for the joy it ultimately brings me. Compared to somebody who believes that they love for the pure sake of love itself, does that mean my love is less legitimate? It is a question I… often struggle with. I am curious as to your belief regarding it.”
“I don’t think it’s less legitimate. It’s still love, right? And some people love for different reasons. If a guy falls in love with somebody because they make him feel more secure or safe or whatever, then that’s still love. If he falls in love because of how much money the person makes, I guess that could still be called love, too. Or somebody might fall in love with somebody because of their looks. Or their hobbies. Or their passions or whatever else, you know? Like, I can’t imagine loving just for the sake of love, I guess. It sounds fictional.”
“Oh? Then why do you love us if not for the sake of love itself?”
“There are a ton of reasons. You’re all super attractive and pretty and beautiful and amazing, you’re hard workers, you’re cute, I like your uniforms, you’re nice and kind, you’re capable and confident, you’re really cool, super cute and pretty, you make me smile and feel happy all the time, my heart flutters whenever I’m around any of you, I always dream about you, you’re the first people I think of when I wake up and the last people I think of when I go to sleep, and thinking about you always make me happy. I don’t love you just for the sake of love or whatever, I love you because there are like, a hundred reasons to love you.”
Anastasia’s smile grew wider and wider while listening to all of his reasons, and she eventually had to force herself to stop smiling because of just how silly she feared she must have looked. Of course, that just meant she had a sort of awkward, quivering smile desperately trying to break free from her sealed lips, making her look even sillier. Once he was done, though, she cleared her throat and said, “I—I was not expecting so many reasons… but thank you.”
“If anything, I’m way more selfish since I have all those reasons. You love me because I make you happy, right? Isn’t having just one reason more pure than like a hundred?”
“Oh? You speak as if I do not have just as many reasons. You make me happy, but you make me happy because you are kind, handsome, a loyal friend and partner, honest to a point many may consider a fault but that I consider charming, funny, entertaining, the first and last topic of my mind each and every day, the ideal of my fantasies—I mean, a man so wonderful that I must remind myself I am not dreaming when with you, thinking about you makes me happy, and you are rather cute as well. The list could easily go on. I love you because you make me happy, and there are countless things about you that make me happy.”
“Wait.” Kris sounded confused. He even raised his eyebrows a bit. “Then what’s the difference between us? Don’t I love you because you make me happy, too? Does it matter if I love you for all those reasons, or if I love you because you make me happy for all those reasons?”
“There may be some nuance there depending on how you look at it, or perhaps not. Maybe there is no difference. Maybe there is, but not a meaningful one.”
“That just makes me even more confused. What’s the point of what we’re talking about again?”
“Do you understand now why the others do not enjoy these conversations with me? They rarely have a point or a goal. They meander about until they reach their natural end which may come at any point. There is only the flow of the conversation. Nothing more. Nothing less. A river cares not whether it has a point or not.”
“So you just like thinking and talking about confusing things for fun even if there’s no point to any of it?”
“Indeed. Rather silly, is it not?”
“Yeah, that’s silly.”
Anastasia smiled once more, and this time she gently held Kris by his cheeks as she leaned over to place her face directly above his own. “But have you enjoyed it? Have you enjoyed this conversation, despite its pointless nature, as we sit beneath the moon in one another’s company?”
Looking up at her, with the dark sky in the background above her, Kris couldn’t help but to feel almost like he was looking at an ethereal being of beauty. She just… didn’t even seem real in the moment. “I think I get what you meant with the spiritual stuff.”
Anastasia blinked when she heard that. “Oh?”
“Yeah. You’re kind of like an angel, but like, cooler. And more mysterious. And I don’t know what you are. Maybe a ghost or something. Like a really pretty ghost.”
And at that point, Anastasia couldn’t resist letting out the loudest laughter that Kris had ever heard from her. In fact, it was probably the most genuine, roaring laughter that anybody ever heard from her in their entire lives. It was only after she managed to calm down that she replied, “I assure you that there is nothing so mysterious about me. Though, if you so desire for me to take on the role of a mysterious, higher being for you,” she leaned in even closer, lowering her voice, “I would not mind being worshipped.”
“Isn’t that what cult leaders say?”
She almost went back to laughing, but she managed to hold it back. “My teasing my end one of these days, but it is far too enjoyable to continue our current dynamic. Just know that once it does come to an end, I will have much retroactive explaining to do.”
“If that’s what makes you happy, I’m down for it. But I have to warn you, I don’t know how to be a cult member.”
“Oh? Even after you went to that church with your friend?”
“Now who’s being harsh?”
Once more, Anastasia let out a soft giggle before looking back up at the night sky. “Well, I must do my best match you.”
Kris was much more interested in looking at her than the sky. “You talk a lot when we’re alone. How come you don’t talk more when the others are around?”
“They always have so much to say as is, so I am perfectly content letting them do all the talking. I am happy just being with them. Getting to be a little lazy is also nice every now and then.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“But now I have another question.”
“Yeah?”
“What pointless topic should I ramble about next?”
“Whatever you want. Listening to you talk is nice, so you can talk about anything.”
“Oh my. You know how to spoil me. Allowing me to pet you while getting to talk to my heart’s content. In that case, I hope your ears are prepared, for the river winds for quite some time.”